Nothing - Hardcover

This is flap copy. In theory, you are looking here to find out what this book is about so you don’t go slapping down your credit card (or library card!) for some boring-ass book. You’re not supposed to swear in flap copy, by the way. This description is supposed to be enticing and persuasive. It’s supposed to hint that there’s something completely thrilling and possibly life-changing that you will get if you buy this book and read it. 

So.

In these pages, you will encounter the searing true-life adventures of two virginal yet smoking-hot teen girls who discover the wild passions of Sven. Will they have a threesome? Read this book and find out!

Yeah, right. I wish.

Really, this book is about me, Charlotte, and my friend, Frankie, and some stuff that happened to us last Christmas. It wasn’t anything amazing. Trust me on this one. But I, personally, am tired of reading about abused/drug-addicted/depressed/alien-infested teens. And—also personally—I think Frankie and I are pretty funny. Actually, I think we’re hilarious, but that could be a me-thing. So if you want to read about some not-incredible-but-not-entirely-basic fifteen-year-old girls, then this book is for you!

That’s as enticing as it’s going to get.

P.S. Don’t get all excited about Sven. 

There is no Sven.

Annie Barrows is a middle-aged lady who doesn’t talk very much, which is why none of the kids who hang out in her house noticed that she was writing down everything they said. She’s like a ninja, except she’s never killed anyone. Okay, okay, she’s also the author of the Ivy + Bean books—remember them? They were fun!—and The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. All of which were New York Times bestsellers, if you care about that kind of thing. www.anniebarrows.com