MOMumental: Adventures in the Messy Art of Raising a Family - Softcover

I've written about articles about parenting and family life for as long as I've been a mother - just over sixteen years. Writing - especially writing books and longer form articles - helps me to work through issues that trouble me and to better understand an experience I've had. As I write, my thoughts and convictions are challenged, deepened, and clarified.

When I wrote my first book, Love You More: The Divine Surprise of Adopting My Daughter (2011) I grappled with both the ethics and losses associated with adoption and the miracle of adopting a child. When I was writing Love You More, I felt vulnerable and exposed. I revisited old journals. I spoke to adoption professionals. I received angry email from people who hadn't read my work, but are opposed to all adoptions. I examined issues that were painful to focus on, such as gendericide in India and the global orphan crisis.

After that book was done, however, I felt more sure-footed as an adoptive mother. I also was glad to have written what I consider to be a gift to my youngest child. That is, I can't tell her a first-hand account of her birth story, but I can give her this true story of her parents' love for her and detail the way she became our daughter.

In writing MOMumental: Adventures in the Messy Art of Raising a Family, I again waded into very personal material. I begin the book by looking at my own childhood desire someday to create a "perfect" family. The notion of family is particularly frightening and alluring to those of us who grew up in "broken homes." We wonder if we have what it takes to be a committed spouse and parent. We worry that somehow we are cursed by our parents' failed marriage or other problems. When I became a mother, I was intent on landing on the perfect way to raise my kids. Organic foods. Mozart on the stereo. Simple, time-tested playthings. No TV. Some of those things are still - sixteen years on - part of my family life, but imperfectly so. Some have fallen away.

I've had to decide, as all parents do, what are my priorities. And in our culture, that can be very difficult to do. Whenever we open a newspaper, hear a teaser for a news show, or scan headlines online, parents are met with conflicting messages about how to raise children.

Everything from the "family bed," to when to wean a baby, to discipline techniques is turned into fodder for making parents feel guilty. We are constantly told that we're failing our kids in multiple ways. But, in the end, all kids really need is what they have needed throughout history. Connected relationships - especially with their parents, a healthy lifestyle, and time to imagine and play. As a parent, I've become more real and relaxed. I no longer compare myself to other moms. I know I'm doing my best to be an intentional, connected parent.

So, MOMumental tells that story of my evolution as a mom. The book tells stories about the family culture I'm trying to create and maintain in my home and about the many missteps I've made. I'm happy that first readers of the book have said that MOMumental has affirmed them, has helped them relax a bit, and has inspired them to take a breath and truly enjoy their children.

I'd love to hear what you think.

• What are the best ways you've found to connect with your kids?
• How have you changed as a parent since you first became one?
• What messages about parenting do you hear on the news, or elsewhere, that most trouble or insult you? 
• What does being a parent mean to you?

Wishing you all best in your (messy) family adventures.